Monday, August 25, 2008

10 Reasons Why I’m Glad the Olympics Is (Are) Over

1. China is a fascist-looking place masquerading as an “emerging world power.”

2. Every time I turned on the TV, NBC was showing volleyball. Who needs volleyball?

3. The “Redeem Team” was a stupid concept. Fielding an Olympic squad of NBA players—the greatest professional players on the planet—is not what the Olympics are about. It was a dumb idea when it started with the “Dream Team,” and it’s still really dumb. And uninteresting. And, as proven, a complete, unchallenging joke. Return this one to the college players, so we can maybe believe in miracles again.

4. Moppet female Chinese gymnasts give me the creeps.

5. Al Trautwig (bad name, blah guy) and Bob Neumeier, who's supposed to be doing horse-racing but instead they had him interview track-runners and he couldn't communicate with Jamaicans, so he might as well have been talking to horses.

6. A Chinese guy killed the father-in-law of the coach of the U.S. men's Olympic volleyball team. More Chinese creepiness.

7. Mark Spitz is a whiner.

8. China spent millions and millions of dollars on the Olympics, but built schools in Sichuan Province with substandard materials and when that earthquake came, it unnecessarily killed all the kids, leaving grief-stricken parents mystified and without redress. Reporters, eventually shooed away by Chinese police, found the parents hanging around at the school site with pictures of their kids. Still more Chinese creepiness.

9. Bob Costas’ sanctimonious, “I am a serious reporter and I’m here making history” vocal style.

10. The opening ceremonies had CGI but the Chinese didn’t want anyone to know that.

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