Super Bowl Dumb Stuff

Great Super Bowl. Loved every minute of it. I had a very dispassionate but totally sincere interest in the game. If the Giants won, we had a cool upset. If the Pats won, we had history. Once the Pats took a 14-10 lead late in the fourth quarter, I kinda thought it was over, and I was all for history. When the Giants kept battling in their final drive, I thought, “Well, if they can pull it out, more power to ’em.” And after David Tyree made the catch of the century, I was pulling for the Giants all the way. So congrats to the Giants. Awesome game.

Now here’s all the dumb stuff:

Why did they give the MVP trophy to Eli Manning? He ended up playing a very good game statistically, but for three quarters he had put exactly 3 points on the board. His escape of the Patriots’ rush on the Tyree play was remarkable, but Tyree made that play. If he hadn’t, we would’ve said Eli flung the ball wildly and we’d’ve been right. The MVP should have been given to Osi Umenyiora or Michael Strahan, or maybe jointly to the Giants’ defensive line. Because of them, the Patriots only scored 14 points. THAT was the game. The Giants’ offense actually sucked, scoring only 17 points against a much more vulnerable Pats defense. Eli is still a player with some rough edges, and any sharp observer will tell you that. He proved spunky yesterday, he made some plays, and honestly, I’m happy for him. It’s a very good story. But why do they always try to find a way to give the big award to a QB, when the DLs are the guys making it happen? Dumb.

Why does Chris Berman call the Giants the “G-Men”? Is that a term he coined? Why does he say it on TV as if it’s some time-honored nickname? I’ve followed the Giants for years in print and on TV, and I never heard this term until Berman started bellowing it, what, maybe in the mid to late ’90s? It sounds dumb, and dumbly fabricated by someone trying to call attention to himself. Berman’s a blowhard. Enough, already. Someone tell him to stop it.

Deion Sanders is another blowhard. In a postgame interview, he came on to Tom Coughlin with the accusation of the Giants coach being “old-school”—the actual implication was clear: “old”—and then asked him how he was able to “turn it around” and “relate” to his young players. Just a stupid, cliche approach. Totally dumb. Coughlin is a vet coach, who’s been much-maligned, especially by the New York press, and he toughed it out in Gotham, having to listen to unfair, impatient criticisms from reporters and pundits and ex-jock dummies like Sanders and Tiki Barber. (“How do you like me now, Tiki? If you’d stayed one more year, you’d’ve gotten that ring. LOL.”) Coughlin proved a graceful guy, actually appearing quite humbled and not the testy, flustered martinet that he’s been portrayed as for all these years. Nice guy, nice story. Too bad there were dummies on the scene, clueless how to approach him.

Oh yeah, remember Tiki’s criticism of Eli last year? About his leadership qualities? You’re a dumb schmuck, Tiki. And a loser.

Ever notice the dumb look on Joe Buck’s face as he’s forced to look upward at Troy Aikman when they’re in the booth in a “two”-shot? It’s hilarious. Poor Joe. Desperately trying to be taken seriously, with all his pietistic pseudo-dramatic commentary, then he’s immediately dwarfed both by Aikman’s broad shoulders and the ex-QB’s superior skills as a communicator. If Buck told us one more time about 41-year-old Giants punter Jeff Feagles trying to get his first Super Bowl ring you’d have started to think he was being paid off by Feagles’ PR firm. He latched onto this theme early and never let it go. Boring. And dumb too. Buck is a dummy, and one lucky stiff.

Why do they continue to have geezer acts for halftime entertainment? Dumb. Tom Petty? He’s not even a good geezer act. Just plain dumb. I thought his music was boring even when he wasn’t a geezer.

Also dumb: those of us who predicted a Patriots victory. No problem-o. The better story prevailed, and we’re all better for it. What wasn’t dumb was how I managed to completely avoid all the pre-game TV hoopla, watched the first half, then went to the store during halftime—thus gratefully missing Tom Petty—timing my return perfectly for the beginning of the second half, which I then watched with rapt attention and fortified by fresh munchies. The only thing that matters is the game, folks.

Have a great off-season. (We’ll be back for the draft in April.)